Right now it's 5:20am and we're leaving for the hospital in about 10 minutes, so I figured I'd do a quick blog update. Thanks to everyone for their alligator dream perspectives, both those put on the blog and those sent to me privately. It definitely helped. I think I mostly needed to voice my fears. The last 2 nights I've gone to bed and said "alligator, I welcome you with open arms. What do you want me to know?" And the last 2 nights I've had no alligator sightings in my dreams whatsoever. Who knew a little hospitality to an alligator could go such a long way?
My long locks are now long gone. I'm sportin' a short doo right now. I got it cut off yesterday afternoon before the tea party. I wasn't expecting to cry when I did, but I did. I guess it made the whole cancer/chemo thing seem much more real. One would think the scar on my abdomen would've already done that, but apparently not. I was able to get the length I needed for Locks of Love (2 big, thick ponytails worth) which made me very happy since I've been growing it for that purpose for about 2 years. The short doo will take a bit getting used to, but I feel about 20 pounds lighter with so much less hair. Just wait til I shave it, then I'll feel like I'm floating on air. I'll post pics when I get home this afternoon.
The garden tea party got moved to Sunday (yesterday) because of Saturday's weather. It was absolutely lovely. Lemonade, iced and hot tea, tea sandwiches, scones with jam and clotted cream, and yummy desserts. I wore my Aunt Meg's navy blue hat with netting and 4 roses sewed on. Everyone was dressed up and wearing hats (well, Sue and I didn't dress up, but we did wear hats). I wish I knew the history of some of the hats the ladies were wearing. I like to imagine my hat went to Philadelphia Athletic games when Aunt Meg was dating a guy who either worked for them or was friends with them (can't remember), or for a stroll on some New Jersey boardwalk in the post-WW2 era, or to some fancy restaurant in Philadelphia. I should've asked Aunt Meg about those hats before she passed away. I suppose my imagination will have to do for now.
I also went to church yesterday for the first time in a month. It felt great to be back, and I/we could definitely feel the support of everyone. I continue to feel better each day. Here's hoping the operation for my port goes well today. Please pray for continued healing for us as well as courage to go through chemo, with whoopa$$ in spades.
Love to all, Sandy
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Lovely message, Sandy. I'm glad your weekend was filled with so many "fabulous" moments! I hope you will relax into your new doo... it's a big deal to lose your hair. Mine started slowly falling out before I turned twenty (with no help from chemo!)and I clung to the last vestige (a scrawny pony tail) until a couple years ago when my accident rendered me incapable of "doo"-maintenance. At which time Melanie and Kim talked me into letting 'em whack it. I was surprised at the sense of loss and sadness I felt as 11 years of "growth" was handed to me in a sandwich bag! (Lucky for me, the morphine drip helped take the edge off!!) Linda said, "Soon you'll feel much better being freed from all that 'old energy'!" Huh.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... since then, I have come to call my new "look" the "Freedom-Doo", because -- as you will soon discover -- an amazing amount of time and hair care product is saved when all you have to do is step out of the shower, towel off your dome, and GO! Thereby proving that every cloud DOES have a silver lining!
Hang in there, Sandy. You are surrounded with Love and Light. We lifted you up in prayer at church yesterday, and your on our prayer list out here, so you've got a bunch of Methodists on your team (isn't that a special feeling??)
Be blessed!
K.
Hey Sandy. Are you going to use your own hair for a wig? Is that even possible?
ReplyDeleteSandy B