Ramping up to the good part of the chemo cycle

Today was the first day I picked up Benjamin since July 8th. What a feeling (I can hear the whole Fame song in my head now). I even romped around with him at the playground. Again, what a feeling.

The last few days have been great. My last yucky feeling day, other than tiredness from being more active, was Monday. Kim and Erik (Phil's brother), Grae and Connor, and McGraw and Reba arrived late Monday night. It's been so great to see B interacting with his cousins, and with the dogs. I LOVE their dogs. If Phil and I ever get a dog, I might lobby for a Sheltie. It's been so great to have them here and they've been so helpful.


Today we went to the playground at Roosevelt Park. Erik commented that there was millions of dollars of playground equipment and what did the kids want to play on? The bleachers by the ballfields. Connor had a grand time eating the pebbles on the ballfield. Roughage at its finest. It felt so good to be out there and ALIVE.

As for the hair: it itches. Big time. And most of the stubble is still intact. Thus the itchiness. So right now I'm kinda hoping the rest of it falls out soon. And the leg/pit hair has brought in reinforcements and stands firmly entrenched for the time being. What a drag. I can't really complain, though. Complaining was earlier in the week.

There was a brief time on Monday where I was in a complete downer. I had some help from Sue and Carla during the day while Phil was at work, but after they left I had a few hours by myself with Benjamin and I had a complete meltdown because I felt like I couldn't do even the most basic of motherhood duties, like lifting him up on the changing table to change his diaper. I felt like a complete failure and collapsed into a puddle of tears when Phil got home. He gently reminded me that this was only temporary. Sometimes I lose sight of that. By the next morning I was feeling much better, thanks to the supportive Facebook comments that kept me going. So thank you all for that.


I also recently found out a kid I used to babysit (he's a grown man with kids now; I think he's around 35) got diagnosed this summer with prostate cancer. It got me thinking all Erin Brokovich-like. What are the odds we'd both get diagnosed with a reproductive cancer in the same summer? Hmmmm, I thought. Maybe there was something in the water near where they lived (I babysat full time during the summers so I spent alot of time there). Genetics shmenetics. It HAS to be environmental. That thought lasted for all of about 10 minutes before I accepted the fact that it's just coincidence. So if you could all pray for a full recovery for my friend Jeff, I'd appreciate it. To the big man upstairs, Jeff is a stellar human being and I'd appreciate it if you looked out for his health. Please.

As for what I need prayers with, I'm still struggling with healthy diet choices, so I guess prayers for self-control (and prayers that I love myself more than I love cake or cookies or sugar in general) would be a good thing.

Life is full of so many little blessings if you just know where to look. Don't forget that.

Love to all, Sandy

The INR Blues

This is for my friend Janine, the bluesiest singin' woman I know. I wrote it in my head on my way home from the Coumadin clinic, where my blood went back down to a 1.8 INR level (I'm trying to get between 2 and 3)

The INR Blues
(sing to any darn bluesy tune you want, or make one up)

I've got the INR blues,
I wish my blood would choose
its thinness level.

If it were up to me
my blood viscosity'd
be nice and stable.

One day it's up, then down
My blood's a venous clown
It makes me weary.

I go from day to day
avoiding vitamin K
so blood can settle.

My platelets plot within
so blood will never thin
It makes me boil.

When will I ever win
this war on Coumadin,
this bloody war within...
I've got the INR bluesssssssss, oh yeah!