Thursday, June 30, 2011
Obituary
Parker, Sandra Magro, 46, of Glenview, passed away peacefully in her home June 29, 2011. Amazing wife of Phil, awesome mother of Benjamin, special daughter of Ron and June Magro, dear daughter-in-law of Richard and Gillian Parker, beloved sister of Ron (Pat) Magro and Jamie (Len) Rose, cherished sister-in-law and aunt to many. Memorial Service Glenview New Church, 74 Park Dr., Glenview, Sunday, July 3 at 4:00 p.m.. Interment took place at Northfield Oakwood Cemetery. Please omit flowers. Memorials for Benjamin may be made to Philip J. Parker c/o Karen Forgette, Glenview State Bank, 800 Waukegan Rd., Glenview, IL 60025. N. H. Scott and Hanekamp 847-998-1020.
Funeral Arrangements
This is just still so surreal...I so appreciate all of the support...please keep it coming.
Sandy's earthly body will be buried at 11AM tomorrow. They have selected a beautiful plot very close to nature....I believe Sandy will love it!
As per Sandy's request...we will have two memorial services....one in Glenview and one in Bryn Athyn. The Glenview one will be at 4 PM on Sunday July 3rd at the Glenview New Church, 74 Park Dr. Glenview, IL 60025. In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been set up which will be used for Benjamin's education. Details to follow.
The Bryn Athyn memorial service will be on Thursday July 7th at 4 PM at the Bryn Athyn Cathedral, 900 Cathedral Road Bryn Athyn, PA 19009. (267-502-4600)
Love to all and thanks for your kindness and support.
Sandy's earthly body will be buried at 11AM tomorrow. They have selected a beautiful plot very close to nature....I believe Sandy will love it!
As per Sandy's request...we will have two memorial services....one in Glenview and one in Bryn Athyn. The Glenview one will be at 4 PM on Sunday July 3rd at the Glenview New Church, 74 Park Dr. Glenview, IL 60025. In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been set up which will be used for Benjamin's education. Details to follow.
The Bryn Athyn memorial service will be on Thursday July 7th at 4 PM at the Bryn Athyn Cathedral, 900 Cathedral Road Bryn Athyn, PA 19009. (267-502-4600)
Love to all and thanks for your kindness and support.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Transition to spiritual world is happening as I write!
Wow my bride is now making the biggest trip of her life! As all of you know Sandy loved traveling and adventures and now here she goes!
She complained only about some slight discomfort so I turned her about 4 times during the night (with help from Steph and Jan.) This morning is mostly a blur. Jan hopped in bed with me and we read Facebook and the blog and even read a few of them to Sandy. I then asked Kirst to bring over some homepathy which would help with Sandy's anxiety. Many family members and close friends came in over the next few hours to visit with Sandy perhaps imaging they were saying goodbye.
When the nurse arrived I explained what I had been doing and the nurse used the new port to drain Sandy again, which I believe gave her enough room to take a few more deep breaths to give her the energy to leave this world. I interrupted Benjamin's construction project at 10:30 and asked him to give Momma a kiss. He reluctantly left the construction site and did as I requested...boy am I glad I insisted on that! After the nurse left Sandy complained of being challenged by heavy limbs and by shortness of breath. I gave her a little more morphine, but only after she asked for it. One of my goals throughout this whole process was to have Sandy's desire and wishes listened to. I believe I 100 percent succeeded in this desire as she stayed in control of the entire process and asked for morphine at 11:15 and passed away at 11:51 am.
It was so cool that anybody who wanted to could be in the room and experience her peaceful passing. She died in our home, right next to our bed, with the birds chirping in the background, and of course Benjamin building something with his trucks, and our families and close friends right beside her. As she was getting close to passing I put some pictures of friends and family around her and then had her wedding ring placed next to her head right next to me. I plan to wear her wedding ring around my neck right next to my heart. Within minutes our pastor Peter was on the phone and offered words and Len read the 23rd Psalm and Ron offered a beautiful prayer and then we all said the Lord's Prayer. What power.
Some time passed and people said their goodbyes and then about 10 women gathered to bathe Sandy with essential oils. I sat in the background and thought how cool this is and that Sandy would be thrilled with this. I can picture her smiling down on the women as they worked. They then sang the Lord's Prayer which was awesome and really tough. Before they dressed her in a beautiful nightie I asked them if they would share a quality of Sandy's that they admire. I won't tell you who said what but I will ask you to picture Sandy as you read this list and by the end I will think you will see vey clearly why it is so easy to love Sandy and why she has so many good friends. She is very special and my only complaint is that we only had 8. 5years together.
Qualities that women admire about Sandy include:
Her Kindness and ability to accept others no matter what
Her Positive and generous spirit
Always thinking of herself last
Her Inner beauty and willingness to look for good in others
her Genuiness and how she so solid in her value system
Her Perseverance, and her ability to set goals and then pursue them
Her Courage and strength
Her Acceptance of everybody
Her Integrity and humor
Her Smartness
she Gave you confidence
She held you Accountable for what she said
she encouraged you to be your self
just do it and go for it
Well as I said that is quite a list and I guess my closing thought on this process for now....is please live your life to the fullest (Sandy was doing daycare only 2 weeks ago), give everything you have no matter what the odds (she only stopped fighting one week ago today after the second opinion), and be kind to everybody including your family no matter what (she was still saying sorry this morning to me about having to move her - go figure Sandy worrying about me right before she passes away.)
Thanks to everybody for their collective support on this journey. I wish the outcome was different but trust that the Lord has a plan....We just don't know all of the intricacies to it. Godspeed Sandy, my love, I will honor you in the way I parent Benjamin and ask that you please help me from above....I need it! With all of my love, Phil (and Benjamin)
She complained only about some slight discomfort so I turned her about 4 times during the night (with help from Steph and Jan.) This morning is mostly a blur. Jan hopped in bed with me and we read Facebook and the blog and even read a few of them to Sandy. I then asked Kirst to bring over some homepathy which would help with Sandy's anxiety. Many family members and close friends came in over the next few hours to visit with Sandy perhaps imaging they were saying goodbye.
When the nurse arrived I explained what I had been doing and the nurse used the new port to drain Sandy again, which I believe gave her enough room to take a few more deep breaths to give her the energy to leave this world. I interrupted Benjamin's construction project at 10:30 and asked him to give Momma a kiss. He reluctantly left the construction site and did as I requested...boy am I glad I insisted on that! After the nurse left Sandy complained of being challenged by heavy limbs and by shortness of breath. I gave her a little more morphine, but only after she asked for it. One of my goals throughout this whole process was to have Sandy's desire and wishes listened to. I believe I 100 percent succeeded in this desire as she stayed in control of the entire process and asked for morphine at 11:15 and passed away at 11:51 am.
It was so cool that anybody who wanted to could be in the room and experience her peaceful passing. She died in our home, right next to our bed, with the birds chirping in the background, and of course Benjamin building something with his trucks, and our families and close friends right beside her. As she was getting close to passing I put some pictures of friends and family around her and then had her wedding ring placed next to her head right next to me. I plan to wear her wedding ring around my neck right next to my heart. Within minutes our pastor Peter was on the phone and offered words and Len read the 23rd Psalm and Ron offered a beautiful prayer and then we all said the Lord's Prayer. What power.
Some time passed and people said their goodbyes and then about 10 women gathered to bathe Sandy with essential oils. I sat in the background and thought how cool this is and that Sandy would be thrilled with this. I can picture her smiling down on the women as they worked. They then sang the Lord's Prayer which was awesome and really tough. Before they dressed her in a beautiful nightie I asked them if they would share a quality of Sandy's that they admire. I won't tell you who said what but I will ask you to picture Sandy as you read this list and by the end I will think you will see vey clearly why it is so easy to love Sandy and why she has so many good friends. She is very special and my only complaint is that we only had 8. 5years together.
Qualities that women admire about Sandy include:
Her Kindness and ability to accept others no matter what
Her Positive and generous spirit
Always thinking of herself last
Her Inner beauty and willingness to look for good in others
her Genuiness and how she so solid in her value system
Her Perseverance, and her ability to set goals and then pursue them
Her Courage and strength
Her Acceptance of everybody
Her Integrity and humor
Her Smartness
she Gave you confidence
She held you Accountable for what she said
she encouraged you to be your self
just do it and go for it
Well as I said that is quite a list and I guess my closing thought on this process for now....is please live your life to the fullest (Sandy was doing daycare only 2 weeks ago), give everything you have no matter what the odds (she only stopped fighting one week ago today after the second opinion), and be kind to everybody including your family no matter what (she was still saying sorry this morning to me about having to move her - go figure Sandy worrying about me right before she passes away.)
Thanks to everybody for their collective support on this journey. I wish the outcome was different but trust that the Lord has a plan....We just don't know all of the intricacies to it. Godspeed Sandy, my love, I will honor you in the way I parent Benjamin and ask that you please help me from above....I need it! With all of my love, Phil (and Benjamin)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Home again
Sandy was continuing to feel more and more uncomfortable so our nurse made some calls and got us into Highland Park hospital today. The procedure which was performed was that they put a catheter into her abdomen so that it could be drained at home. (Some may know that Sandy has had her abdomen drained once per week for the last two weeks. They have taken out an average 3 liters.) The nurse arranged transport for us in an ambulance (which thrilled Benjamin) and we left about 12:30. Unfortunately they were not ready for us so we had to wait until 3:30. The procedure was over in 45 minutes and then the transport arrived and Sandy is now sleeping, completely exhausted. We had a few cute moments together in the room which was great and we have now completed our written description of our dating history. (I look forward to sharing it with all at some point in the future. I believe we have a great story to tell of waiting for the right person and not settling, along with what an orderly relationship can look like in our opinion.)
Her pulse continues to be high and her blood pressure is staying quite low...tough signs!
Thanks to everybody for your blog responses, e-mails, and facebook words....I have read all of them to Sandy. She smiles and I cry. What an angel.
With love to all, Sandy, Phil, and Benjamin
Her pulse continues to be high and her blood pressure is staying quite low...tough signs!
Thanks to everybody for your blog responses, e-mails, and facebook words....I have read all of them to Sandy. She smiles and I cry. What an angel.
With love to all, Sandy, Phil, and Benjamin
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Home
There is a good chance that Phil will be the only one writing from now on. We went for a second opinion last week about the extent of the cancer in Sandy's body. The second doctor confirmed our worst fears...that is that 4 kinds of chemo have not worked and there seems to be no way to stop this wretched disease. With the rapid decline in Sandy's health over the last 3.5 weeks and the disease now taking over the liver, the best course of action seems to be to bring Sandy home and have her live out her life in as much comfort as possible. so that is what we have done. I can't believe I am actually writing this.....Sandy will be leaving this world in the near future. she has fought so hard for the last two years....even driving herself to chemo only two months ago. Her sadness, energy, fatigue, and bloating are all challenging her to want to fight much more. we hope and pray that this nightmare will soon be over and of course another nightmare will begin after that....No more Sandy. Benjamin needs his best friend who is his Mom, and to a slightly lesser extent I need my wife. This is brutal! Sandy is still cognizant as I write but she continually says this is getting harder and harder. Jamie, her sister, and Natalie, my niece are here which is tremendously helpful! Both of our families are ready to come and some will be here soon. All of my family has seen Sandy within the last month, except for Janet who will be coming shortly, and all of Sandy's family will be here next week. My parents will be here soon as well. We are so scared and saddened by what the future holds....and/but we are trying to remember that the Lord is holding us all in His hands and will do everything within His power to make the best possible outcome occur. Feel free to call and write letters....I will try my best to respond but please know that I am so grateful for all of the roles you have played in Sandy's life. She is an awesome and great person and the network of friends that she has is a real testament to the amazing person that she is and I continue to be amazed what neat things people have to say about her. from being somewhat of a shy and reserved person, she sure makes an impact. thanks for your continued prayers of peace and healing. Please enjoy every moment of your lives....it is precious. Love, Phil (Sandy and Benjamin)
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