Transition to spiritual world is happening as I write!

Wow my bride is now making the biggest trip of her life! As all of you know Sandy loved traveling and adventures and now here she goes!

She complained only about some slight discomfort so I turned her about 4 times during the night (with help from Steph and Jan.) This morning is mostly a blur. Jan hopped in bed with me and we read Facebook and the blog and even read a few of them to Sandy. I then asked Kirst to bring over some homepathy which would help with Sandy's anxiety. Many family members and close friends came in over the next few hours to visit with Sandy perhaps imaging they were saying goodbye.

When the nurse arrived I explained what I had been doing and the nurse used the new port to drain Sandy again, which I believe gave her enough room to take a few more deep breaths to give her the energy to leave this world. I interrupted Benjamin's construction project at 10:30 and asked him to give Momma a kiss. He reluctantly left the construction site and did as I requested...boy am I glad I insisted on that! After the nurse left Sandy complained of being challenged by heavy limbs and by shortness of breath. I gave her a little more morphine, but only after she asked for it. One of my goals throughout this whole process was to have Sandy's desire and wishes listened to. I believe I 100 percent succeeded in this desire as she stayed in control of the entire process and asked for morphine at 11:15 and passed away at 11:51 am.

It was so cool that anybody who wanted to could be in the room and experience her peaceful passing. She died in our home, right next to our bed, with the birds chirping in the background, and of course Benjamin building something with his trucks, and our families and close friends right beside her. As she was getting close to passing I put some pictures of friends and family around her and then had her wedding ring placed next to her head right next to me. I plan to wear her wedding ring around my neck right next to my heart. Within minutes our pastor Peter was on the phone and offered words and Len read the 23rd Psalm and Ron offered a beautiful prayer and then we all said the Lord's Prayer. What power.

Some time passed and people said their goodbyes and then about 10 women gathered to bathe Sandy with essential oils. I sat in the background and thought how cool this is and that Sandy would be thrilled with this. I can picture her smiling down on the women as they worked. They then sang the Lord's Prayer which was awesome and really tough. Before they dressed her in a beautiful nightie I asked them if they would share a quality of Sandy's that they admire. I won't tell you who said what but I will ask you to picture Sandy as you read this list and by the end I will think you will see vey clearly why it is so easy to love Sandy and why she has so many good friends. She is very special and my only complaint is that we only had 8. 5years together.

Qualities that women admire about Sandy include:
Her Kindness and ability to accept others no matter what
Her Positive and generous spirit
Always thinking of herself last
Her Inner beauty and willingness to look for good in others
her Genuiness and how she so solid in her value system
Her Perseverance, and her ability to set goals and then pursue them
Her Courage and strength
Her Acceptance of everybody
Her Integrity and humor
Her Smartness
she Gave you confidence
She held you Accountable for what she said
she encouraged you to be your self
just do it and go for it

Well as I said that is quite a list and I guess my closing thought on this process for now....is please live your life to the fullest (Sandy was doing daycare only 2 weeks ago), give everything you have no matter what the odds (she only stopped fighting one week ago today after the second opinion), and be kind to everybody including your family no matter what (she was still saying sorry this morning to me about having to move her - go figure Sandy worrying about me right before she passes away.)

Thanks to everybody for their collective support on this journey. I wish the outcome was different but trust that the Lord has a plan....We just don't know all of the intricacies to it. Godspeed Sandy, my love, I will honor you in the way I parent Benjamin and ask that you please help me from above....I need it! With all of my love, Phil (and Benjamin)